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Posts Tagged ‘Dudley Primary Care Trust’

Referral

In Unforgiving Minutes on February 25, 2010 at 4:57 pm

Phone call from the doc today. Asking me whether I want to be referred to Maudsley Hospital in London or the Barberry clinic in Birmingham. I hesitated, not having much looked into the Barberry and doubting it a little since it is a new service. In my first letter I had specified the Maudsley hospital because it is a known centre of excellence and I didn’t much want to have to deal with another clueless doctor. The Barberry was, however, the centre I told the doctor about some months ago and which I asked to be referred to back then. I let him persuade me. I only now have to wait and see when they can offer me an appointment.

The PCT has only, this far, agreed to fund a first consultation. I’ll see how far that will take me.

GB

NHS Query

In Department of Psychology, Letters on February 24, 2010 at 9:43 pm

Dear Camille Administrativu [CMHT Duty Officer],

I have recently been given your name in connection with some enquiries I am making regarding the policy of Dudley PCT/Dudley NHS on referrals and treatment for adults with attention deficit disorder. The reason for these enquiries is that the treatment I have recieved at the hands of Dudley CMHT makes no sense to me and, I believe, makes no objective sense when the current understanding of adult ADHD is taken into account.

Let me first outline the treatment I speak of over the last 4 years. I will stick to the facts of referrals made and prescriptions given in order to minimise any expressions of anger and frustration that I find it hard to suppress when thinking of or discussing the human aspects of the last few years of my dealings with Dudley NHS mental health.

A referral was made to a local psychiatrist with a (perhaps vague) specialism in ADHD sometime, I believe, in 2006. I never heard from this again.

A diagnosis of ADHD was made. (I was not informed of this until 3-4 years later.) I presume this to have been made in 2006, but since I discovered this fact in late 2010 I cannot confirm this.

Stratera/Atomoxetine was prescribed sometime in 2006-2007. I took it for a few months. It was a particularly difficult and chaotic time of my (difficult and chaotic) life and for that reason the ability to gauge the efficacy of the medication was not optimal. Nevertheless, it is clear that the medication did not significantly reduce the restlessness, impulsivity, incidence of angry, constant and intrusive daydreams and “brainstorms”, disorganisation, inability to relax etc etc., that is the manifestation of my ADHD. This ought not to be wholly unexpected given as Stratera/Atomoxetine is generally agreed to be less effective in reducing the symptoms of ADHD than stimulant medications, and completely ineffective in a significant minority of individuals.

In addition to its ineffectiveness, Stattera led to a number of alarming (to me) side effects. Deep sleep came suddenly and unbidden at inconvenient times of the day. Since another part of my problem is asperger’s syndrome and a need for routine, this was highly disturbing to me.

In short, Atomoxetine was not suitable for me.

Following this wholly unsuccessful assay with Atomoxetine, it was as if we had exhausted all possibilities. My psychiatrist at Hill House repeatedly talked to me about the difficulties of diagnosis in adulthood and the difficulty of doing anything for me. He wrote to my doctor regarding the heartening absence of problems I did not at any point consult him for and referrals were, eventually made, that I then heard nothing about. Read the rest of this entry »

Vacuum Head

In Autism Research Unit, Department of Psychology on February 11, 2010 at 11:34 pm

This is a different kind of horrible. My head’s not exploding. I’m not feeling like I’m barely living unless I’m doing five things at once. I’m not angry. I’m not depressed. I don’t feel like there’s no hope in anything. I don’t particularly feel like I’m the worst kind of human being. I don’t feel lonely. I don’t even feel sad. This is vacuum head. I can’t explain it. It’s like Blaenau Ffestiniog to Snowdonia. It’s been there for years unexplored. Perhaps its the least worst of the mind states I experience. I’ve noticed it more recently, but I feel like I’ve never really thought about it or attempted to get to grips with it, and I feel like I need to address that. Now vacuum head doesn’t much lend itself to writing, and one thing I am certain of is that if I force to write in this condition I won’t sleep afterwards, but I know that nothing will remain of it afterwards. I have come through it and to the other side enough times to know that.

Context

As often with vacuum head, as I tweeted a few days back (yesterday?), I got it on returning from work. This lends me to suspect that vacuum head is a kind of mental over-exertion, and, in particular, a function of aspergic artificial emotional intelligence (AAEI) (which is as felicitous a spontaneous coinage as I’m likely to stumble upon mid Vacuum Head), that is, more intelligibly, the result in part of the mental exertions required by those who lack an intuitive grasp of social interaction. Power down your Normalcy Emulation Engine (sorry, on a roll with this shit), and the power drain leaves your mind this way like your muscles feel after a bout of anaerobic exercise.

Two things then. One. I was working with a Reciprocal Reactionary (RR) today (this one is an intentionally, that is, ironically awful coinage based upon R S Thomas’s notion of “reciprocal reactions” from people who pick up on his own social awkwardness). She is rather closed. My boss said he doesn’t think she is somebody you can ever get to know. (And god was I glad when I started hearing people saying negative things about her, because these RRs are the cause of a lot of tortured thoughts and negative automatic thoughts.) The two of us together are pretty stilted, and there we were working together for seven and a half hours with nothing to do for the most of it. The constant throwing of conversational dice in my mind is plenty enough to drain anyone’s mind, but there was, as ever, more than this, and I will try to summon some of it now.

Manafan – jingle, on dead air, from The Man Who Went Into The West by Byron Rogers, which I’m currently reading

Plans. To write back of the envelope flow diagrams of mind states and the way they move from one to the next, eg. social anxiety developing from a RR.

Various imagined scenarios in Capel Curig with moving there to live with two guys I don’t know and do a job I know scant information about etc. Writing in car, coming clean about ADHD, coming out as a writer, ADHD etc. etc. and then my food etc. Scenarios too surrounding the Welsh/English divide. Read the rest of this entry »

Cats among the Pigeons time

In Letters on February 5, 2010 at 3:55 pm

The following was sent to my psychiatrist, a number of people at Dudley PCT (some of them, admittedly, addressed only as ‘The Big Cheese’, ‘Deputy to the Big Cheese’, ‘Deputy Arse Licker to the Big Cheese’ etc., to my MP, and GP. It is an angry letter with numerous errors of grammar etc. No doubt it is impenetrable in places. But it got written. I have tried to write this letter before and it didn’t get written. I sent it at around 1:30 last night.

Gav Belcher

The University of Gav

The Ever-so-slightly-Uglier House

Capel Curig

LL24 0EL

Dear Dr Cretenne II,

You have my as yet undiagnosed (or was it my now diagnosed, without my knowledge), certainly untreated attention deficit disorder to thank for my not having written to you sooner. Were I not now so determined to get your attention and that of your peers, superiors and other miscellaneous contiguous culprits, I have no doubt that you could rely on the very same for years to come – such a tenacity as mine and a capacity to fight you have not encountered in your whole life so far, believe me, without it I would not have come as far as I have come and got this far with the casual (or lazy) observer able to tell me how well I am coping. I have been ringing your office and been passed through the Kafkaesque switchboards of the Dudley Primary Care Trust over the last month or so with the plaint that I have been seeing somebody at High Strung House for the last 18 months to 2 years with absolutely no diagnosis or coherent treatment. As you perhaps know and have perhaps had cause to celebrate that I did not, it has been longer by a factor of two; such is the way my life is slipping away in a confused blur. I found an appointment card today for August 2006! It was by no means the first. Ben Jonson had it that a just anger puts life in man. There’s a lot of life in me right now as there has been a lot of misdirected life in me for years and years just waiting to get out. It may not be professional to say so, but to hell with it, I’ve got to get this letter out now or it will stall on me, and besides, I’m not a professional and may never now be despite my intelligence, so here it is: I’ve been fighting for years and years, more than anybody will ever know, and if I have to turn my fight on to you good people to stop fighting so hard so much – fighting with my head every minute of every day – then you are going to have to find out exactly how hard I have had to fight to turn up at your door in a state which enables you to fob me off with a few fatuous perfunctory statements about how well I am coping. Read the rest of this entry »